Monday, March 31, 2014

The light at the end of the tunnel

Although last weekend wasn't expected and surely wasn't planned, my "crash and burn" ended up being a good thing. After receiving some mental and emotional encouragement from some very dear people, I rebounded and recovered almost immediately. Last week I did workouts I actually enjoyed, instead of routines I forced myself to perform in order to try and achieve a perfected physique. I allowed myself some leeway with food, adding certain "enhancements" to my meals like larger veggie portions and a different protein source. It was all I needed to make it through the week. I also added an extra meal on Friday and Saturday to mentally prepare myself and to make sure I was ready for the final week before our first show....peak week.

Yesterday was the first day of "peak week". Peak week is the week leading up to a show. I have done research on the subject, and found quite a bit of contradicting experiences, but have developed a conservative plan to make it through the week. We are doing a carb depletion followed by a load with water manipulation. Pretty much that means Sunday through Wednesday we will consume very small amounts of carbs, about 50 grams. Thursday we will double that amount and Friday we will triple that amount. The idea is that it is suppose to give you a "fuller" look when you step on stage on Saturday. Also Sunday through Wednesday we will be drinking 2+ gallons of water, Thursday just 1 gallon and Friday maybe a half gallon before lunch time and then small sips the rest of Friday and Saturday. I have a plan for Saturday, again being conservative with our approach. I plan on eating clean foods; rice cakes, oats, sweet potatoes strategically planned throughout the day. Saturday is mainly about eating enough carbs to keep your muscles looking full. Some people will "shit load" on Saturday, with the intention of filling their muscles out and having a vascular look while on stage. Shit loading just means eating junk; doughnuts, candy bars, soda. This approach makes me nervous. However, since I am doing 2 shows a week apart, I thought it might be beneficial, for learning purposes, to approach the second competition differently and do some sort of shit loading to see if there is a difference.

It hit me yesterday, that life will go on after these shows. I have a good idea of how I want to transfer into normal life afterwards and what habits I would like to keep for my lifestyle. I also realized that I have a greater control on my willpower then I give myself credit for. How else would I have been able to progress as much as I have if I didn't have this willpower. I just hope that afterwards I can face social settings with my willpower in tact. Being away from family and friends makes it easier to eat well because there are no gatherings with food temptations.

I'm trying to air on the side of being excited for these competitions, but being that I have never done one before I am more just trying to avoid anxiety. I can't expect perfection with my first one and no matter what happens I am proud of what I have accomplished in the last 12 weeks and now know I can push myself farther and harder then I ever expected. That's the only part of this that really matters at the end of the day, having these experiences that push all of your limits, and surviving.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned....

Gluttony is a sin, right? Well I hate to admit, but feel the need to confess, I had quite the gluttonous weekend.

It all started on Thursday when I began to lose myself. I had a 60 minute massage that I thought would recharge my aching body, which it did, for about an hour. I woke up Friday even more sore then I was previously. I think the massage told me just how run down my body was becoming. I attribute most of my soreness and lack of energy not only to the restricted calories, but to my inability to sleep much past 4 a.m. each morning. I barely made it through Friday, emotionally, physically or mentally. I could barely keep myself in an upright position, let alone get through my scheduled workouts. I allowed myself to only do 1 of the 3 planned workouts on Friday thinking that my body just needed some recovery time. By the time Friday evening came around, I was having a complete meltdown. I could no longer tolerate other human beings, let alone my own mind. I had some extra food thinking it would be what I needed to get through this slump. I thought I could recover as I have done on the other days that I slipped up a little. Well, Saturday and Sunday surprisingly started off normal, willpower in tact. By the time my 4th meal came around each day, my willpower was diminished. I ate. And ate. It was a vicious cycle. I couldn't recover. I guess my diet threshold is 11 weeks. Without going into every detail of my "breakdown" I have lived and learned from this past weekend. With 11 days until my first competition, I have a new mindset. My original reasoning behind wanting to do a figure competition was strictly to be able to say that I have completed one. Somewhere along the way, I allowed myself to believe that I had to be the best at this in my first attempt. No, I don't want to go on stage and look like a tool, but I don't want to go on stage feeling completely run down and broken. I have learned a lot so far from this process, and continue to learn everyday from it. I am the hardest person on myself sometimes, as a good amount of people are. I actually feel quite rejuvenated from my actions this weekend. Not that I'm giving myself an excuse to say what happened was ok, but I know now what I need to do to avoid it in the future. Here's to a strong next few weeks.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Bada bah bah bahhh....I'm lovin' it

Although I'm hungry, this transformation is amazing. Every morning, I wake up and notice something different with my physique. It's pretty neat. We've been on the 1250 calories for almost 2 weeks now and within the first 10 days I lost just over 2 pounds. Just so people don't get false hopes, that is a unreasonable amount of weight to lose on a normal diet being so far along into the diet. However, as we are quickly approaching show time, it is expected for us to lose most of our weight in these last few weeks.

My mood resembles that of a hormonal pregnant lady, I fluctuate pretty consistently between irritation to excitement to blank stares of confusion. I'm hungry most of the time, so to ease that I workout. If I'm not busy with clients, or eating, I will be doing some kind of activity. I'm still doing at least 2, if not 3, workouts a day. Mostly to keep myself busy and mind off of food. This week I added 2 days of fasting cardio. Now, I know that with fasting cardio comes the potential for losing some muscle, but I am in the last 2 weeks of trying to lose as much body fat as possible, I'm going to take that chance. I am drinking a double dose of BCAA before/during the cardio to try and preserve whatever I can. I think I will be ok and noticed a difference in my physique since doing those workouts.

One of the other ladies and I went to a competition this past weekend to get a better idea of what a show actually looks like. It was a small competition, which we believe ours will be as well, and to be honest the girls didn't look that impressive. Actually there were a few girls who I was questioning whether they even worked out or not!!! Made us feel a little bit better about where we are in our prep. We also visited that University of Buffalos Art Center where our competition will be taking place just so we could see the stage we will be walking around on. Pleasantly enough that stage wasn't as big as I had imagined, nor was the viewing area.

I had my husband measure my body fat with a skinfold caliper the other day. This is basically the only measurement I have done, aside from weighing myself. He measured me at 17%. Now, I'm not sure how accurate that is, I'm pretty sure its close to that, but it is quite discouraging to know that within the last 10 weeks I only lost 4% body fat. From research I've done I guess that is what is normal, they say 2 weeks for every 1% body fat that needs to be lost. Apparently we needed to start our prep a few weeks earlier. I wanted to get down to 14/15%, but being realistic I will be happy to lose 1% more in the next 2 weeks and get down to 16%. Most figure competitors go between 10-12%, I can't really picture myself being that low.

I have recently been working more on the post-competition plan. I do have quite a day planned for after the second competition I am doing in Plattsburgh!!! But 24 hours is all that's allowed post-show in order to make sure you do not mess your metabolism up for months. I have been planning a reverse diet that slowly reintroduces calories and carbs, maintains a good amount of proteins and fats and have a few cheats here and there. I have also planned out 2 weeks worth of workouts. It is suggested that you slowly lower your cardio duration each week until you reach your normal off-season amount of cardio. I am looking forward to regaining some flexibility in diet, but am still trying to determine what my new norm is going to be. You can't go through 14 weeks of competition prep and return to your pre-prep lifestyle. I'm not going to have put all of this work in and lose everything I've gained. I have to establish what it is I consider normal for my physique and what parts of prep I want to continue to do. I'm not going to lie, I'm scared to finish this prep and am hoping that my will power is strong enough to actually follow my routine since I won't have any show to worry about doing. They say will power is like a muscle, the more you use it the stronger it gets. Here's to hoping.

And just an FYI, McDonalds is not in the post-competition refeed plan, Moe's is.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Day 68 of 90.....

I'm tired. And hungry. I'm seeing results.

We started the last phase of our diet this past Sunday, 1250 calories. I spent Friday and Saturday enjoying a few extra calories to mentally prepare for this part. Apparently all of those times that I thought I was "cheating" I really wasn't, there was actually a name for it. I discovered that there are things called "re-feeds" where you up your calories and carbs a bit while maintaining protein and lowering fats that you are supposed to do every so often to recharge your body. Well I didn't know that had a name, I just thought that was cheating. It seems similar to when we were carb cycling, but its not as structured as that was. A re-feed day you can actually increase your calories substantially, upwards in the 2000 range. I didn't go that high in Friday or Saturday, but lets just say I wasn't hungry those days either.

Here we are 4 days into the 21 days of the 1250 calorie diet. The main components getting me through the gaps between meals: sour patch kid gum (yep, found some!!!), liquid/powder water flavorings and coffee....lots of coffee.....thank goodness I found the Green Mountain coffee at that gas station. I've become a chain chewer. One piece of gum lasts about 30 minutes before the flavor is gone and I switch it out for a new piece. My jaw hurts.

Workouts are good. Weights are staying between the 8-15 rep range for now, completing usually 4 sets of each exercise. Sometime I do active rest periods, sometimes I take a nap between sets, depends on how large of a Green Mountain I had that day. I'm doing at least 1 cardio session a day. I'm alternating between HIIT/sprints, LSD (long, slow duration.....get your heads out of the gutter) and plyometric type circuits. I'd say at least 3 days a week I am doing double cardio. I found out that it works for me to split the cardio sessions into 2 smaller sessions. I'm fighting some plantar fasciitis pain, but as long as I stay off the arc trainer I seem to be ok. Guess I'm stuck on the stupid treadmills.

Its clear to see that if people didn't know what we were doing before, they do now. Not only are we walking around in 5 inch clear high heels, but our muscles are now quite noticeable without even having to flex. People at the gym are asking more about what we are doing. Its becoming real.

I'm trying to keep positive thoughts in my head even though I'm constantly thinking about food. My clients have been sharing with me their food experiences so that it may seem that I too have experienced it with them. One of my clients even sent me a picture of her ham and cheese Panini she had for dinner one night. It was awesome and I stared at it for a while. I've warned my husband that for the next 4 weeks I probably won't be the friendliest of beasts, but he's informed me that at least I look like a "beautiful zombie". I will get through this diet. Just keep telling myself that.

I did get my suit in the mail last week, and I did try it on and did take pictures. I'm not sharing them. Its a humbling experience when that much is revealed in a "bathing suit".

I've been putting a lot of work lately into what my plans are for when these shows are finished. I'd like to stay similar to this lifestyle just within a satisfying calorie range. I used to get headaches all the time and have wicked blood sugar fluctuations when I wasn't eating this clean. Its nice to not have headaches and to have a stable blood sugar on a regular basis. I know a lot of that has to do with the amount of sugar I was eating before. Hopefully I can stay away from it most of the time when I am on the other side of these competitions.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Worry wart and daily routine

Annndd apprehension is setting in. Not so much about the actual competition itself, I was a cheerleader for about a decade and I'm pretty confident in my ability to get on stage and whip out my "jazz" hands and milk it for the judges. No, I'm becoming more and more worrisome about the actual prep coming into the last few weeks before our show. Sure, I have done research and devised a plan based on the most common rules and tricks, but to actually know am I doing enough cardio or am I doing too much, am I eating enough calories or am I eating too much, it is such an individual based answer. It all depends on how your physique is progressing and being that I have never done this before, I'm not sure how my body is going to change with each process. This is when I wish I could afford a coach, someone to be able to know how each workout and meal should be devised to change the parts of my physique that I specifically need. I guess every person who ever competed had to go through the process of trial and error to see what worked best for them, but I just don't like the idea of putting all this work into something and have it backfire on me if I do something totally wrong.

On and up note, our suits will be arriving today!!!! Pictures will be taken this weekend, hopefully it fits. We are practicing our posing a few times a week and are developing our "model walk" that we have to perform on stage. It is a series of 6 poses that you hit at various spots on the stage. Again, I was a cheerleader for so long, I'm pretty confident in that part. Our last diet change is happening on Sunday and we will follow that for 3 weeks before we get into peak week. That is a whole other part of the prep that I am super nervous about messing up, peak week has so much contradicting literature. I think I have a plan for it, but I'm going to be doing more research.

The last 2 weeks, since we have been on this part of our diet, I have fluctuated between 138 and 135 pounds. Its so funny how such small changes, like how much sodium you eat or water you drink and how much you workout, can make such a difference on the scale each day. I'm not worried about the scale, just as I haven't this whole time, but its always fun to see how it changes. This past week I have been doing 2 cardio sessions each day along with my regular weight lifting session (sun-wed) and have seen a significant difference in the definition of some of my muscles. I have been eating a few extra calories here or there, but I have been sticking to the diet pretty well and didn't see much difference last week. This made me realize that the cardio is definitely helping me. When we make our next diet change on Sunday I think I'm going to take a step back from so much cardio and let the diet do some of the work first, then add cardio in again as needed. It is said that you should be completely ready with your physique a week prior to your competition so that you can do a week of carb depletion and loading right before the show. We'll see how far we get.

I though I'd give you all a sample of what my days look like currently and what kinds of foods we are eating.

I usually wake up around 5:30. Thank you husbands alarm clock. Drink 24 ounces of cold water with some raspberry ketones in it while I make my egg whites and veggies as my first course for breakfast. Second course at breakfast is 1/2c oats with 1/4oz walnuts, cinnamon, ground ginger and stevia. I adore breakfast. With a healthy side of black coffee I try and savor every second of breakfast. With breakfast I take my fish oils, CLA and L-carnatine. After breakfast has settled its usually cardio #1 at about 8 a.m. I make sure I drink BCAA during cardio sessions. Second breakfast at around 9: 3oz ground turkey and 4oz sweet potato with a little bit of cinnamon, I also adore this meal, it taste like thanksgiving. Then I usually have some morning clients before first lunch which is 3oz chicken with 1/2c brown rice. I put on a good squeeze of hot sauce with this meal, I love spicy stuff. And with lunch I take my vitamins. Usually by lunch time I have drank 4 blender bottles (~80oz) of water, which is about 1/2 of my daily intake. Then following lunch is weight lifting. Sometimes I take a preworkout, sometimes I don't. My preworkout has caffeine in it so it usually depends on how much coffee I had during the day and if I can tolerate any more caffeine. If my weight lifting goes any longer than an hour I start drinking my nectars protein with BCAA in it at that hour mark, trying to preserve muscle. By the time I finish weights its time for lunch 2: 3oz chicken with 2 cups zucchini/green beans with 1/4c organic salsa. Then I usually have the afternoon to do some food prep, I seem to always be cooking something. Whether we've run out of chicken or veggies I always like to have plenty of everything cooked ahead of time so I can just put together my meals as I need them. Then I usually have a few more clients in the afternoon/early evening. Dinner tends to be between 5-6p.m. and that meals is another 3oz chicken with 1cup green beans and 1/2oz slivered almonds. I put a good dollop of spicy mustard on this meal and take another serving of CLA and fish oil. Sometime during the late afternoon/early morning I fit in my second cardio, depending on how much clients are scheduled. I am usually home by 7 every night. I stop drinking water at around 7:30 when I have consumed around 1 to 1.5 gallons during the day so that I am not up all night going to the bathroom. I finish my day with a casein shake. Around 7:30/8:00 p.m. I mix one scoop of casein with 1 cup of unsweetened vanilla almond milk and some ice cubes in my blender until it is as thick as a "frosty" and eat it with a spoon. IT IS AWESOME!!! When ever you can consume something that is similar to a frosty every single night, life can't be too bad! I've said it before, I like the diet, the foods are great and I enjoy them but I do miss certain foods and think about protein bars and cereal often. However, the following are the main components that are mentally getting me through the last few weeks of diet:


 
I dream about these foods often. I look forward to sticking with my healthy lifestyle and diet routine for the long run, just with a few more cheats involved. Nachos and brownie sundae being the first of cheats.