Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Recovery

A little over 6 weeks since my show and I figured I'd give an update. The show went well, I actually enjoyed my experience and was happy with the whole process this time. I didn't make myself suffer as much as the first shows and I listened to my body before pushing it too far. With that being said, I am done doing competitions, for a while at least. I have definitely felt more successful in my "recovery", but I still have a ways to go. I have a few more pounds to gain, in the form of mostly body fat and maybe some muscle. I know that sounds weird, gain body fat after working so hard to lose it. Well each persons body has a homeostasis that it likes to live in (as far as weight and body fat) and I have not yet reached my homeostasis. I know this because i'm still having some energy balancing difficulties, my workouts have been extremely limited so I have been sticking to a few weight lifting exercises every other day or so and some yoga. And NO CARDIO!! Also, in general, my body isn't performing the way it needs to in many other ways. I just put it through 3 shows and more months than not this year of energy deficiency, it doesn't like me right now. So I've upped my calories, my carbs and my fats. Still keeping my proteins fairly high, but i'm not counting any of those ratios the way I have done this whole year. I'm still sticking to clean eating about 80% of the time and I still enjoy eating my chicken and vegetables, just sometimes with a sweet potato cookie on the side (don't knock it til you try it).

Since finishing my obstacle course race just over a week ago, I've been trying to determine what my focus is going to be next. Its difficult to go from such an extreme routine to having complete freedom. I don't really want to build anymore muscle and I definitely do not want to train for any running race. Luckily, an idea was given to me at work. Apparently, there is such a thing as exercising without suffering muscular pain in multiple parts of your body for hours and days post workout!!! The physical therapists at work put  me through a functional screening test when I was complaining about multiple muscular pains in my back, hips, and foot. Come to find out, I'm a little unbalanced and tight in lots of places. So here's my next project; take a step back from extreme and intense exercise and let my body recover and regain pain free movement. No its not as glorious as building shoulder roundness and abdominal leanness for competitions, or training to run mountains faster than any other female, but its what my body needs. And as one of my clients put it "You want to treat your body well so you can live in it for a long time." I'm sure with time I will again amp up my routine and get back into some sort of competition, but for now I want to take the time to feel comfortable with my workouts.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Not in it to win it

The first show(s) that I did, my goal was to get up on stage and say I completed a figure competition. Once I accomplished that, I decided my next aspiration was to actually enjoy the process. Since I started this competition prep almond 9 weeks ago, I have worked hard not only on my transformation, but also on my mentality toward the challenge. Last time, being the first time, I was nervous about every part of the competition prep and the day of show which didn't allow me to appreciate the changes I was able to accomplish along the way. This time I know the small bouts of suffering lead to awesome outcomes.

That is why I am not in the competition to try and win it. First of all, it is a PRO qualifier in Boston. There will be dozens of girls that I will be competing against who do this all the time. Second, I keep reminding myself I want to enjoy (obviously not completely possible, especially toward the last few weeks) this prep so that I may want to do shows again. Lastly, this is still only my 3rd show, ever. My main goal is to beat my previous self. I wanted to take what I learned from the first show and apply my new theories and techniques to this show. I have no fears about being on stage and already feel a bit stronger in my posing (although I really need to be practicing more). I had a lady show me some new poses and I really am looking forward to strutting my stuff :) Last show I looked rigid, this time I will be more comfortable on stage. I gave myself way more flexibility in the diet this time around, and I think it worked better for me. I wasn't so rigid in getting every single piece of my daily diet plan into each and every meal. If i didn't have a meal prepped, I'd head to the grocery store and try to recreate what I was supposed to have or even go to a restaurant and have them make something similar to what I was supposed to be eating for that meal. I had extra bites of food. I'd snack on fruit. Thus far, I have not felt deprived and am still really enjoying the diet. My workouts have been enjoyable. It helps that my brother and other family members are close enough now that I can workout with them and they can keep me motivated. Also, there have been days that I was to physically tired to move a single weight, so I'd take a day off. I have not felt like exercise has been a burden or a punishment this whole prep, and I've even been doing as much as 2 hours of cardio a day!

So, whats happened the last few weeks? I have been lucky enough that my grandmother has a spare bedroom I can shove most of my essential day to day belongings into, even if I have consumed the entire room, she has not complained yet! All of my cooking has been getting completed between my grandmothers and my cousins. I basically cook chicken every other day. Its a good thing I've been splitting my grocery shopping up between several different grocery stores, otherwise people may think i'm hoarding chicken. I went to planet fitness......once. I ate chocolate, several times. I ate at restaurants. I exercised more than I was scheduled to some days and skipped workouts other days. I restrained myself when food temptations were there and I consumed extra calories when I thought my body needed them. I'm using this prep as a learning experience, trial and error, experimenting with different theories. One of those theories is to eliminate the creatine supplement 4-6 weeks prior to show and then load it again the week before show. I stopped taking creatine last week and haven't noticed that much of a difference in my strength. I was worried about losing too much size last show, but this time know that I need to do whatever I can, try whatever techniques, to eliminate as much body fat and get the cuts rather than worry about keeping the size. I haven't lost any size yet, but feel like my arms have become more defined. Could be from the diet or could be from no more creatine, either way something worked!

Next, starting today is when things might become not so pleasant and a bit more difficult. I am starting a small version of a carb cycle. Not as intense as the one I did last prep, I've learned so much about my body and how I respond to diet changes in the last year that I feel pretty confident in the plan I have developed for this carb cycle. The calories will be around 1300 and I will do Sunday, Monday, Tuesday around 60 carbs and Wednesday, Saturday around 90 carbs. I have switched from lifting heavier weight sets of split body to lighter weights full body/plyometrics and added in a whole butt load more of cardio. I don't feel like i've overtrained at all so far, as I had done in the first show. No more "cheats" or "refeeds". This is where everything really counts and really matters, so I'm willing to give in 3 1/2 weeks of straight focus. I have explained to family that I will be a little distant the next few weeks, and its not that I'm upset or disgusted with any of them, its just my technique to stay focused. I become hermit like, and for 3 1/2 weeks I don't feel like that will be a super challenge as long as people are open and understanding to what I'm doing. Don't expect me to have much energy for anything other than work, working out and cooking/eating my meals. I will be resting a lot, won't be taking many outings and will be mentally consumed with getting ready for the stage. I also have in the back of my mind how I want to "recover" from this show. Last time I had this extravagant plan on how I would slowly reintroduce more calories and carbs each week and slowly lower the amount of exercise I did daily. Well that didn't work! Go figure. I had lived so long on a restricted lifestyle, that without the fear of stepping on stage anytime soon, I lost my motivation and my willpower. This time, I notice I feel so much better on prep that I don't want to go back to the drag of processed foods. I learned that the hard way after last show. I will stick to clean eating, but will eat what I'd like in a moderate portion when it is time for a meal. I have a very flexible and varied meal plan that I have developed so I can have options for each meal. I will incorporate this into a maintainable lifestyle and hope to empower others to make the same changes!

Friday, July 25, 2014

Making my mind matter

Its been a few weeks since I've last updated. A couple things have happened.

1. Tough Mudder:
The running part was a lot easier, the obstacles were a bit more of a struggle. Last year I went into "beast mode" and killed the race. I was completely wrecked from it, but felt like I made the race my b*tch. This year, having been in competition prep for a few weeks prior which meant I wasn't able to fuel up as much as I did last year, I didn't actually achieve "beast mode" but still felt accomplished. I did spend the day and a half prior to race day consuming a few more carbs and calories in order to survive the race. Race day I ate what I felt would give me the most energy and avoid the most cramps. I think I achieved a good balance in that aspect.

2. Partial move to Vermont:
I started my new job at On Track in Burlington a week ago yesterday. It is an awesome gym in Burlington with lots of fun new toys to start working into my routine! I spent 8 hours last Wednesday driving to Vermont. It was mentally draining and emotionally taxing. Mentally, because of all of the competition prep I need to be focused on (food eating/prep and workouts) and trying to establish a new clientele and business in another new location. Emotionally because of all the ties I have developed in Brockport that I will soon be leaving. Its going to be difficult to detach. Also, we have not found a place to live in Vermont yet so I spent the past week mostly living out of my car. I've done it before, I can do it again, but it doesn't make it any more fun the more you do it.

3. More time in the car:
Last weekend I took my brother and husband from Vermont to Tupper Lake in the Adirondacks for a obstacle course race up the mountain. We meet my dad there, and all three of them participated in this 3.5 mile muddy race up and down the slopes. It was fun to watch, but being that I had done the tough mudder the weekend before, and had a few cuts and bruises that I was healing, I didn't think another race a week later was a good idea, so I sat it out and took pictures. Its always a highlight for me to do those kinds of adventure races and fitness challenges with family, so I was happy to be there. However, another 5 hours in the car that day just about did me in.

I started my second attempt at this 12 week journey with high hopes and spirits. This was the layout of my plan:

- Do a re-feed the day of Tough Mudder to allow for proper fuel to get through the race.

- Add fruit back in. I took it out last prep because it was what the "PRO's" usually do. But I met a girl at on of my shows who ate fruit during her whole prep. She won. Fruit was back.

- Have one or two higher calorie (1600 instead of 1400/1300/1200) days per week or every other week

I almost lost it. Several times. Prior to starting this prep, I told myself I wanted to have more of a positive mind set through the whole thing. I told everyone that I would attempt it again, but if I started losing my mind I would step down. I started strong, my mind was sharp and focused. Over the last 5 weeks, pieces of it started falling apart. This is what has truly happened:

- I over shot my re-feed for Tough Mudder by several hundred calories. I even ate ice cream. Twice.

- Fruit has literally been my savior. Many times. I have it put in my meal plans but when I was hungry and starting to wear away, I turned to fruit. I have had plenty of extra servings of berries and watermelon.

- I think the first 4 weeks I was actually more at about 1600 calories MOST days instead of a few days.

I've also had bites of things. Last prep that was off limits. No extra anything, no added servings. This time, I've had small bites of someone's meal. I've added more or different veggies to certain meals. I've gone to restaurants for meals. I even put skim milk in my coffee sometimes. And since I'm being honest; I've had an evening of decadence in chocolate, when I reached my lowest point. However, even with all of these detours, this prep has been going better physically than it did last time. Now, I did start at a lower body fat this time than I was when I started last time, which does help, but I've noticed more change in the past 3 weeks than I had in the first 7 weeks of the last prep. I have maintained a consistent definition progression most noticeable in my arms but also my abs are completely flat again already and my legs are smaller (which I was going for).

How can I argue with that?

The most noticeable change has been my weight. I started a week earlier for my last prep. I've been checking my notes and determined that after 8 weeks of prep last time I got down from 145# to 137.1#. I've been in this prep for just under 5 weeks and I've gone from 150# to 136.9#. BOOM. Last time I wasn't as concerned with the weight going down, but after looking at the pictures of me at competition, I knew I needed to slim down quite a bit more this time around.

Why I think this prep has been more successful:

-Instead of so many steady state cardio workouts I have done 2 days of sprints. I do 1 minute jog at 5.5 mph and then sprint for 30 seconds at 10 mph. Repeat for 20-30 minutes. Works like magic. The steady state cardio that I do is now basically all fasting. I'll wake up first thing in the morning, have a cup of coffee, through some BCAA in my water and do 45 minutes about twice a week. That's it for cardio. I was over training for too much of my last prep and I wanted to avoid that this time around.

- Last time I was afraid of losing too much muscle. Again, after seeing pictures from competition, I knew I had a lot more to slim down and didn't have to worry about losing muscle because I had so much of it. So instead of sticking to heavy weights all the time with minute rests, I'm doing a lot more circuit training with active rest periods, giant sets, and a little bit more volume. Last time I had every workout scheduled ahead of time. What exercise with what weight/sets/reps preplanned to a T. This time I have what muscle group or cardio I am doing each day and then depending on my mood and energy I just throw a workout together on the spot. I am much better at being successful this way.

-Added fruit back in. Again, has been a savior in replacing the sugar cravings.

- My mind has been occupied with other subjects outside of diet and exercise. Even though the move and all is a mental stressor, it is also a distraction from thinking about food all day.

So through all of this, I have decided that I want this prep to be as much a mental transformation as it is a physical one. I've said it before, and I truly do feel this way, I do enjoy this lifestyle. I want to learn how to be more present in each moment instead of getting anxious about all of the processes I have to go through in each section of each day of the week. I am the type of person, and it seems to get worse when I am in competition prep, that I will be processing in my head what I need to do to successfully accomplish something 12 steps ahead of what I am doing at the exact moment and end up tripping on what I am doing in the next 2 steps which sets me back even more. I'm always afraid to miss something or forget something that I might need later. I just need to get over it and enjoy each step, good or bad, that each day has to offer. I push my body to the limits, but I want my mind to agree and be happy with what I put myself through, otherwise it is just a drag. I know competition prep is a challenge, and you can't be successful without a significant amount of sacrifice, but it took me almost 2 months to recover from the last show, I don't want to repeat that again. I want to live this competition prep in a way that allows me to return to a more stable lifestyle more effectively and I know that it will be 90% how I mentally handle the next 7 weeks. Wish me luck!

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Ten days down

Ten days back on competition prep and I feel like I never left. In a good way. I am remembering and realizing how much better it feels to have meals scheduled throughout the day, pre-planned and pre-measured amounts of food used to fuel the body for the tasks assigned for the day. I have given myself a lot more freedom with my diet and it is actually working better for me. I'm not as strict with getting the exact right source of protein or vegetables and if I have an extra serving of fruit or veggies, I'm not punishing myself. AND, as I just mentioned, we added fruit back in for this round of dieting. I have done more research and fruit doesn't need to be eliminated, just used appropriately, and it is making a huge difference in my mental state. Fruit is sweet, so it feels like a treat and that is something I like to have every day. I don't feel deprived at all, I feel empowered. I know the struggles I faced last time and I am changing my mindset on how I am approaching them. That's all it comes down to, how you mentally prepare yourself and how you choose to look at the challenges. I know that each challenge I faced last time, resulted in this amazing, unbelievable physique and it is what keeps me motivated. I did it before, I can do it again, and I will do it again, better.

My approach the last 10 days:
1) Like I said prior, variation in diet. As long as my weight doesn't go up, I'm not going crazy on whether or not I have fish instead of chicken, or broccoli in stead of spaghetti squash.
2) My workouts are total opposite to what I was doing before. Last time I was concerned about losing muscle so I kept my weights heavy and rest periods the normal minute between. This time I am keeping the intensity high during each lifting workout, with active rest periods and lots of plyometrics in between. I'm not doing so much steady state cardio, 2-3x a week for about 40 minutes, but am definitely incorporating a lot more sprints. I need to trim down my legs a lot more and sprints seems to be the most efficient and suggested way of accomplishing that. And I really like the sprints, 20-25 minutes and your done.
3) I'm not as stressed about getting each of my meals in at the exact right time. If I'm 20 minutes early or a half hour late, not a huge deal. I need to keep this a maintainable lifestyle and allowing room for flexibility seems to be key.
4) Similar to #3, I am not getting anxious about hitting my workouts at the times I think I need to (based around my food intake and work schedule). When I get them done, that when they get done. Can't predict everything and need to keep the flexibility.

Goals:
1) Maintain this mentality
2) Successfully move and obtain a new position as a personal trainer in Vermont while maintaining my diet and workout regime.
3) Continue to kick butt in my workouts

I'm still not doing any measurements, just keeping track of my weight for fun. I can feel a difference and that is enough of a change for me to stay motivated, the numbers have no value in my life.

Friday, June 20, 2014

12 weeks out

The last 2 weeks I have been on a "moderate prep".  I wanted to ease myself into the strict diet so that I do not burn out halfway through. Since I started last Monday, I am down 7 pounds. Sounds like a lot, but it is basically all "water weight" since I spent the few weeks prior to that "bulking". In just a short 2 weeks I have seen a significant difference in my definition already and it is getting me very excited for what I might be able to achieve this time around.

I have decided that I will weigh myself once a week, just to keep track, but will not look to deeply into the numbers. I realized, from last time, that the weight will come off. Progress will happen, however little it does, and will result in a great change. I don't plan on taking body fat measurements because there are too many variables that can alter those numbers. I'm not even sure I will be taking progress pictures. I know that last time that was the only thing that kept me motivated, but I think this time it might make me more nervous. I want to make this more of a lifestyle then a 12 week challenge so to keep measuring changes might make me anxious, especially if they don't happen like I hope. Last time I FELT the changes and that in itself is one of the best motivators. I know that when I work hard it will pay off and that eating the way I need to will make me FEEL so much better. That for me is going to keep me focused, how well I felt with the foods we were eating.

I also hope that because I will be in the process of moving back home to Vermont and finding new work that I will be kept busy enough that I won't even notice hunger. I'm pretty sure that most of my problem the last time was that because it was winter, and I had no outside of the gym obligations, that I was always thinking about food and sitting around waiting until my next meal. Summer time there are more things to do outside, my workouts can go outside, and I will again be keeping busy with the move. Being around my family is always a motivator because I love to help them promote healthy choices and lifestyle and for me the best way to do that is to be a good role model. I also see the move equally as a challenge. I will have to make sure I stay on top of food prep, to make sure all of my food is ready when I need it. Or I will have to recruit family members to do some cooking and preparing for me.  

I have a slightly different approach to my plan for this prep. I know from last time what changes I need to make. Workouts will be more fat burning based instead of muscle maintenance and diet will be a little more lax since I am starting leaner for this prep than I did for the last one. I'm excited to start prep again. As difficult as it was, there was something rejuvenating about it. Digging down as deep as you could to pull out your inner warrior and test it in a battle against yourself.

I'm lucky enough that one of the ladies that did the show with me last time is up for another challenge. It will be difficult though because for the second half of prep we will be living 350 miles apart. If anyone else is interested in joining me for this experience, I would love to have someone in Vermont to keep me accountable!

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

I'm Back!!!!

Its been about 6 weeks since I've updated my status so there's a few things to catch up on.

I've been in my "off season" since I finished the second show in April. This essentially means I've been working on gaining muscle, which obviously results in weight gain. Most people give themselves a restriction on how much weight they can gain on the off season..... I did not. I know myself well enough now that my body likes to maintain a certain weight, usually with no extensive effort on my part. I stuck with mostly healthy foods, but definitely got my share of other types of foods as well. What I've determined from reintroducing "off limit" foods back into my diet is that I either made myself very sensitive to certain foods, or I was sensitive to these foods before and was just used to the symptoms they gave me because I dealt with them daily. Although I missed eating my "prep" type foods and meals, I wanted to give myself a break from meal preparation and having such a strict eating schedule. I came off basically all of the supplements I was taking during prep like CLA and L-carnatine, but still am taking creatine and using protein powder.

The last 8 weeks I've been arguing with myself the pros and cons of doing competitions. I know I want to do another show, but am I willing to commit that much time and effort again. It was completely mentally, emotionally, and physically draining, but there was something invigorating about testing your limits to that extreme. The results were pretty cool too. I think that because the previous shows were my first attempt ever, I didn't have a coach to help me with anything, and I was also coaching the other ladies it was too much for me to actually enjoy the experience.

Also, I just found out a few days ago that my husband and I will be moving....again, however this time it is to a place I know I will enjoy. I'M MOVING HOME! That's right, we're headed back to Vermont!!! It is a bittersweet move though. Over the last 2 years I have made some wonderful friends and have had the most amazing job ever so it will definitely be difficult to leave.

So, with all that being said, I am aiming for my next show to be September 13th in Lexington MA (just north of Boston). This means that prep started Monday. I have reevaluated and redeveloped my competition prep program to allow more variation in food types, less heavy weight lifting and more plyometrics/cardio, and made sure I have a positive outlook on this experience by putting less pressure on myself. I've definitely picked a challenging time to partake in a competition prep with a long distance move, trying to find a new place of employment, and all the social gatherings of summer but I am up for the challenge and request the support of all those I see in the next 14 weeks.

Monday, April 28, 2014

Life on the other side

It is now just over 2 weeks since I finished my second ever figure competition. Life is slowly returning to normal.

The first 3 or so days after my second competition I felt as if I were a 4 year old child rolling carelessly down a sunny grassy hill. It started out as good fun, then would end in sickness. I reintroduced so many "off limits" foods that I was not used to and I ended up feeling like vomit by the end of each day. I kept trying to start my days off well, and they did end up being fairly decent, it was just that my body not used to all the different foods. A lot of it had to do with my mental state. For 14 weeks, I had not been able to eat simple foods like cereal, sandwiches, fruit, dairy or eat the foods I felt like eating when I felt like eating them. I hardly even wanted a lot of the foods I was eating, but because they were off limits for so long I felt that I had to reintroduce them and remind myself of why I wanted them. It ended up being that I didn't have the same palate for certain foods and they didn't taste as wonderful as I had remembered or they didn't have the same satisfaction as before or they didn't seem to be worth the added calories. But again, because they were off limits, I wanted to see what it was I had been thinking I was missing. I finally started feeling a bit better by the beginning of the second week. I had a basic reverse diet I reconstructed based on how unsuccessful I was at the reverse diet during the first post-competition week. I stuck to it about 75% of the time....most days. A lot of it had to do with the sugars I reintroduced, they are the devil!!! My blood sugar, which was basically stable for the whole competition prep, was fluctuating similar to a roller coaster, up and down and twisting around. As good as sugar tastes, it is a quick satisfaction resulting in a negative plunge in mental, emotional and physical state. Sugar makes me tired, and I want to have energy for my day and my workouts without the aid and necessity of caffeine or preworkouts.

Moving forward I have decided to take my "off season" to maintain the muscle that I have, possibly working on developing a few lagging muscle grounds and evening out the symmetry in my current muscle. I am going to bring my calories up to about 1800 (depending on what muscle group I am working on for the day) so that I can maintain muscle. I am still going to follow a preplanned diet, I feel so much more in control when my meals are planned out for the week and all I have to do is eat as scheduled and not think about what I should be eating throughout the day. I have a lot of the clean foods that I enjoy in my meal plans like salads, protein pancakes, clean treats. I am going to keep my weight lifting  pretty similar; 5 days of split body, cardio will be 3-4x a week mixed up between HIIT and steady state since I am still trying to keep my body-fat low. There are a few shows this fall that I am considering doing which would require me to start a competition prep diet again sometime in June, so I am going to use May to regain focus and eat a few strategically planned treats. I actually already have a new competition prep diet plan and workout routine developed to try for the next time!


What I've learned about myself and life during this process:
1. I can do a figure competition
2. I am insulin sensitive, too many carbs (or sugar) and my body responds poorly
3. Everything you put into your body affects you sooner or later, some things have a quick appeal followed by a negative affect even days later.
4. Food is just fuel, I have so much more energy when I choose good fuel.
5. I don't hate cardio as much as I thought I did.
6. Patience. I am really bad at waiting. I am the super opposite of a procrastinator. If there is something to do, I want to do it right away to get it over with and not think anymore about it. Having to wait to eat until certain times, or wait to get workouts in was a real test of my patients.
7. I pushed passed so many emotional and physical barriers I didn't even think I could, determining that my threshold needs to be pushed every so often.
8. Finding balance, with everything in your life, is key. Once you establish it, maintaining it is essential.


What I will do differently next time
1. I will start my diet a few weeks earlier to allow myself to get leaner then I did this past prep.
2. I will not do a carb cycle during the middle of my prep diet
3. I will put in more "off limit" foods in my prep diet; like steak and fruit
4. I will do more running for cardio
5. I will adjust my workouts throughout the process to focus on more fat burning toward the end and worry less about muscle loss.
6. I will fluctuate my calorie intake to fuel my workouts as needed.
7. I will practice posing a whole heck of a lot more. Just from looking at pictures of me on stage, I could tell my posing wasn't as strong as other girls and that is a big part of your score.

Here's to a successful off season

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Team Danielle

Here it is. The final page of the first chapter of my newest project. Its actually a little bitter sweet. I have absolutely developed so much more physical, mental and emotional strength then I thought I was capable of having. They truly are right when they say "willpower is like a muscle, the more you use it the stronger it gets".

I'm so glad to say that my second ever figure competition was 100 times better than my first attempt. I had so much more confidence knowing a little bit more what to expect and having my amazing support system there to cheer me on. I was more excited to see my family for the first time in months, the show was just something that was able to bring us together.

Peak Week #2: After having such a unkind first figure competition, I wanted to give myself a little bit of slack and try and enjoy the last little bit of my figure debut season. My workouts were long, but instead of doing the structured workouts I had planned out for myself, I did whatever my little heart desired! It was awesome to go back to enjoying exercise, the way I have for the last 14 years. I knew there wasn't much I could change with my physique in a week so I decided to use this week to trial a different approach to the diet of peak week. I progressively got lower in carbs for my depletion instead of staying low in carbs for the whole week. I definitely liked this approach much better than the previous week. I also think that I started "carbing up" too soon. My body responds quickly to carbs and since I already had good size on my muscle I don't think I need to fill out that much.

I finished peak week strong. That was what I was more anxious about, was messing up my peak week as I had done the week before and going into my show over thinking what I had done and with such little confidence. I had made the trip up to my dads house on Wednesday to spend some time with him and to get the trip out of the way earlier in the week. Thursday I did some baking, ironically enough when I bake my mind wonders away from eating. I like trying new recipes and developing my own. Of course all of these goodies were clean, but still they were off limits for now. But Thursday was also the first day of carbing up. I am so sensitive when it comes to carbs. The whole start of peak week, when you go low in carbs, I feel great! My body moves well and I don't feel bogged down. As soon as I started adding carbs, I started feeling like scum. Its the surge of glucose running through the body that makes me feel skirmish. Its so strange to me, most people love this part! They get to have solid carb sources that are supposed to provide great energy and mental clarity. But with not being able to workout for the 2 days prior to show (so that your body has time to recover and you don't look swollen on stage) all these extra carbs were just circulating through my body with such fire and with no escape. My body responds to an increase in insulin poorly. The more carbs I eat the hungrier I get. I got through Thursday and made it through Friday decently as well. I started losing my mind just before my family got there Friday evening. I was staying at the hotel near where the show was taking place and I was starting to get anxious. Not necessarily anxious about the show, I knew my family was proud of me and that was most important, but I was getting anxious about all the steps I had to take to get ready the following day. As soon as my family got there, the skies opened up and the world was clear again. One of the voids in my life had been filled and the other void (food) was shortly going to be filled as well. All was well. As I got closer to the end of the week, I slowly stopped having so many cravings. It was like I knew soon enough I would be "allowed" to eat whatever I wanted, but now I actually didn't really want them anymore. I think it was more of the  "you can't eat this" mentality throughout the last 14 weeks that made me really want anything. I was actually just excited to go back to eating enough calories so that my workouts weren't so weak.

I got to the day of the show feeling the best I had in weeks. I actually slept through the night and woke up refreshed. I had breakfast in bed, my eggwhites and oat pancake with peanut butter and jelly!! Started getting ready and headed to the place they were holding the show. Everything about the day went really smooth, unlike the previous week. I got my last coat of spray paint put on, suited up and put my barbie face on. The rest of my family showed up and then it was show time.The show started at 2 and there was no 5 hour break in between prejudging and the night show which made all the difference in the world. My husband helped me get ready back stage, once you glue that bottom part of your suit on, bending over really isn't an option so it was awesome to have him there to hand me things. I went on stage with such confidence. I knew there were big differences between myself and the other girls I was on stage with, but they weren't bad differences. I had the size, which I've known I've had this whole time, and they had the cuts. Last weekend the judges were looking for cuts, but this weekend I overheard a coach tell her girls that these judges were looking for size so I thought I had a chance. I didn't feel bloated or over-carbed, I felt the tightest I have so far. I spent way more time on stage this weekend then I did last weekend, which made me feel like the experience was worth it. I did 2 different categories and so I was on stage for about 6 minutes. Which to many might not seem like a long time, but remember while on stage you have to squeeze and flex every muscle in your body and suck in your belly and smile. To hold those positions for minutes.....exhausting. By the end of the day my lower back was cramped, but it was all worth it. The evening went smooth and I was able to visit with my family throughout the event. I finished 3rd (out of 4) but had learned so much about this sport and about myself that placement didn't matter. It was the experience that nobody would ever be able to take away that mattered. Also, how can you be disappointed when you have a huge cheering squad who all had "Team Danielle" t-shirts that my mother and aunt made (oh, and those birthday party whistle things blowing around).

Through out the week I started developing the plan for my next season. I have learned so much through this experience, and surprised myself here at the end with such desire to continue with it! Even my originally unsure grandmother gave me the thumbs up to keep at it!

So my first real meal post competition: Salad bar, baby back ribs and a toll house cookie pie with vanilla ice cream. I felt absolutely so wrong sitting down to a meal at a restaurant. I have grown so accustomed to this new lifestyle. I knew that I needed to give my body a treat, and since I had been dreaming so frequently for the last 14 weeks of these guilty pleasures I know I needed to let myself have them. I actually didn't really want the dessert, my family was so great and brought me all kinds of sweet treats already, but again I had been dreaming so frequently of such indulgences I thought I should at least let myself see if it was all I remembered. And it wasn't. To my complete shock, sugar wasn't as appealing to my taste buds as much anymore. Now, don't get me wrong, I ate the whole dessert, but it didn't have the satisfaction I thought it would. It was then that I realized, I don't really need these things in my life as often as I had before. I was perfectly content with my clean treats. Now here is the problem. In my opinion, sugar is a socially acceptable drug. As soon as my body had a dose of full on white sugar the insulin spiked and with that follows a drop. Once the insulin drops your body wants more sugar to keep that "high" feeling and the cycle begins. I had a few of my families treats on the hour ride back to my dads house from the show. I knew right then that I had to shower and then go to bed when we got home to avoid eating all of the sweets! My willpower is so much stronger and I know that I will be able to avoid these sugar surges. The feeling is not appealing, especially when you've learned how "clean" you feel when you stick to good healthy food sources.

It is 4 a.m. and I have been up since 3 a.m. working on this post. With all the extra energy I stored up last night from a full dinner and desserts I am ready to hit the gym. This is when I wish I was back home so I could go to my gym, 24/7 FitClub, and hit the treadmill and weights at this time of day. It has been about 5 days since I did a real workout, feels like forever!!  I just looked up the hours to the YMCA here in Malone NY, where my dad lives, and they open at 8. I'm gonna try and get some more sleep, but guess where I"ll be at 8 o'clock this morning!


Sunday, April 6, 2014

Knocked down but not out

I can think of 101 sob story reasons as to why my first figure competition was a bust. But none of them matter. I participated in a bodybuilding competition and that's something no one can ever take away.

To be completely honest, I basically gave up about 2 weeks prior to the show. I was overtraining and over thinking. I hit my 'crash and burn' and didn't recover enough to make the needed effort to get where I needed to be. I coasted to the finish line, which I have remember doing before in other challenges because it was easier then dealing with it. I had mentally put too much on my plate. I was trying to perfect the plan for our peak week; the diet, the workouts, the every little detail involved. I wanted to make sure the previous 12 weeks of work that we put into our prep weren't messed up with a poorly planned peak week. I wanted to make sure that the 3 of us were going to shine.

The first speed bump we hit was when we got the phone call Thursday evening at around 5 that our show had been cancelled. Wait, what do you mean the show has been cancelled. I just spent the last 13 weeks getting ready to step on stage in an itty bitty bikini and your going to cancel the event!!! Not enough people were participating they said. Well with a quick 'you suck' to them, we scurried to figure out what we were going to do. We lucked out. There was another show the same day in Rochester. Great, sign us up. Check. Ummm, what about hair and makeup. Are you kidding, what salon is really going to have an opening for the 3 of us to have hair and make up done by 9:30 on Saturday with less than 2 days notice? Welp, found one. Ok lastly we need to find someone to spray tan us. Easy, we knew a girl who could do it. Booked the appointments. By Thursday evening at 8, just 3 hours after we learned our original show had been cancelled, we were entirely set for a completely different show.  Sweet, we're ready to go.

And of course I slipped right into the path I was so aggressively trying to avoid. I didn't feel confident in the plan I had developed so I veered off path the last day and it cost me. The other ladies stuck to the plan and it worked for them in a way that didn't work for me. I woke up yesterday morning (day of the show) bloated and unconfident. From the first blink of the day I was running the schedule for the day and everything we had to do through my head; when we had to get our suits on, when we had to eat, when we had to pump up, what our routines needed to consist of. We started our day at the salon for hair and makeup. I tried to relax and enjoy the experience with these lovely ladies that have trusted me the last 13 weeks to get them to this day. They knew I was over thinking everything as we were sitting there, they figured me out within the last few months :) From the moment we finished our beautification it was a scramble to get our suits on and to the venue in time only to arrive with 5 minutes to spare for our 10 o'clock meeting which we ended up sitting around for until 11 o'clock. That was the first hit to my psyche. We had to eat at a certain time. Was the meeting going to take so long that we weren't going to have the time to eat and finish getting ready? We still had to figure out our routines. Stop thinking about it Danielle!! Nope. So we got on stage for the first part, prejudging, all suited up, canola oil spray attached, sugared up and pumped up. I felt like a mess. Still bloated and without having a mirror in front of me not 100% sure my poses were right. First part we knew how to do pretty well. It went quick so it was a little anticlimactic. 5 minutes on stage was all it took for the judges to get a good idea of who was going to be the top place finisher. Ok, with prejudging done whats one to do for 5 hours until the night show starts. This was the dumbest part of my day, waiting around with nothing to do and no idea what to expect for the evening for such a long time. This is where it was completely lost. I have no patience. Anyone who knows me knows that. I knew I didn't do well it in the first part of the day, so I kind of gave in to my emotions. I was ready to be done with the day and head home. What was the point. This wasn't what I was expecting was all I kept thinking. I don't know if I actually expected anything in particular, but what happened wasn't the excitement I had anticipated. I became cranky closer to show time. With no instruction on how the second half was going to happen, before I knew it we were walking across stage and I had no idea what I was doing. We had practiced our routines for weeks ahead of time but when our original show got cancelled we had to learn a new walk for this new show. My body was moving, but not to the motions I had in my head. I still don't remember what poses I hit, I just remember walking on stage. I don't think I was really that nervous, I just was so unconfident that I think I blacked out to try not to think about how uncomfortable I felt with the physique that I was presenting. The second half of the show went just as quick as the first and then it was more waiting around for everyone else to go before we got to awards. From start to finish our day was about 14 hours long and all I could think about was showering and getting out of that suit. And that's what I did. Show finished around 9, I had my suit off by 8:55, I couldn't even wait for everyone else to be done. Home by 9:30 to shower and scrub tanner and elmers spray glue off of random parts of my body. Feeling shot down, I was in bed by 10:30.

Some main points I learned about participating in a figure competition:
1. When in doubt, do less. I was trying the whole day to make sure we were eating enough at the right times and following a certain schedule. I learned that most girls don't do much of the eating stuff on competition day and timing didn't make too much of a difference.
2. When you spray glue your suit to your bottom so it doesn't ride up your bum when you are walking on stage, you find creative ways to use the toilet.
3. You will smell like barn. Since you are not supposed to wear deodorant with the spray tan, unless you like the green armpit look, you tend to have some body odor. Add in the spray tan smell itself and the canola oil spray so you shine on stage and its a hot mess of stench.
4. Most of the girls are nice. You always hear of other competitors being jerks and sabotaging each other. It was hardly the case. We made a couple friends and they were super nice and really helped us get through the day.
5. All the other girls are also slightly nervous. Everyone has a first time, but each time you are trying to do more, be better and achieve higher.
6. Leave modesty at the door. I had one of the girls up my bum putting glue to make sure my suit was where it needed to be. I saw other competitors having people rub them with oil in ALL places.
7. Everyone has a different approach to creating their physique. The only way to know what will work for you is trial and error.

So with all that being said, sorry Gram, I'm going to keep working at it until I figure it out.

Monday, March 31, 2014

The light at the end of the tunnel

Although last weekend wasn't expected and surely wasn't planned, my "crash and burn" ended up being a good thing. After receiving some mental and emotional encouragement from some very dear people, I rebounded and recovered almost immediately. Last week I did workouts I actually enjoyed, instead of routines I forced myself to perform in order to try and achieve a perfected physique. I allowed myself some leeway with food, adding certain "enhancements" to my meals like larger veggie portions and a different protein source. It was all I needed to make it through the week. I also added an extra meal on Friday and Saturday to mentally prepare myself and to make sure I was ready for the final week before our first show....peak week.

Yesterday was the first day of "peak week". Peak week is the week leading up to a show. I have done research on the subject, and found quite a bit of contradicting experiences, but have developed a conservative plan to make it through the week. We are doing a carb depletion followed by a load with water manipulation. Pretty much that means Sunday through Wednesday we will consume very small amounts of carbs, about 50 grams. Thursday we will double that amount and Friday we will triple that amount. The idea is that it is suppose to give you a "fuller" look when you step on stage on Saturday. Also Sunday through Wednesday we will be drinking 2+ gallons of water, Thursday just 1 gallon and Friday maybe a half gallon before lunch time and then small sips the rest of Friday and Saturday. I have a plan for Saturday, again being conservative with our approach. I plan on eating clean foods; rice cakes, oats, sweet potatoes strategically planned throughout the day. Saturday is mainly about eating enough carbs to keep your muscles looking full. Some people will "shit load" on Saturday, with the intention of filling their muscles out and having a vascular look while on stage. Shit loading just means eating junk; doughnuts, candy bars, soda. This approach makes me nervous. However, since I am doing 2 shows a week apart, I thought it might be beneficial, for learning purposes, to approach the second competition differently and do some sort of shit loading to see if there is a difference.

It hit me yesterday, that life will go on after these shows. I have a good idea of how I want to transfer into normal life afterwards and what habits I would like to keep for my lifestyle. I also realized that I have a greater control on my willpower then I give myself credit for. How else would I have been able to progress as much as I have if I didn't have this willpower. I just hope that afterwards I can face social settings with my willpower in tact. Being away from family and friends makes it easier to eat well because there are no gatherings with food temptations.

I'm trying to air on the side of being excited for these competitions, but being that I have never done one before I am more just trying to avoid anxiety. I can't expect perfection with my first one and no matter what happens I am proud of what I have accomplished in the last 12 weeks and now know I can push myself farther and harder then I ever expected. That's the only part of this that really matters at the end of the day, having these experiences that push all of your limits, and surviving.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned....

Gluttony is a sin, right? Well I hate to admit, but feel the need to confess, I had quite the gluttonous weekend.

It all started on Thursday when I began to lose myself. I had a 60 minute massage that I thought would recharge my aching body, which it did, for about an hour. I woke up Friday even more sore then I was previously. I think the massage told me just how run down my body was becoming. I attribute most of my soreness and lack of energy not only to the restricted calories, but to my inability to sleep much past 4 a.m. each morning. I barely made it through Friday, emotionally, physically or mentally. I could barely keep myself in an upright position, let alone get through my scheduled workouts. I allowed myself to only do 1 of the 3 planned workouts on Friday thinking that my body just needed some recovery time. By the time Friday evening came around, I was having a complete meltdown. I could no longer tolerate other human beings, let alone my own mind. I had some extra food thinking it would be what I needed to get through this slump. I thought I could recover as I have done on the other days that I slipped up a little. Well, Saturday and Sunday surprisingly started off normal, willpower in tact. By the time my 4th meal came around each day, my willpower was diminished. I ate. And ate. It was a vicious cycle. I couldn't recover. I guess my diet threshold is 11 weeks. Without going into every detail of my "breakdown" I have lived and learned from this past weekend. With 11 days until my first competition, I have a new mindset. My original reasoning behind wanting to do a figure competition was strictly to be able to say that I have completed one. Somewhere along the way, I allowed myself to believe that I had to be the best at this in my first attempt. No, I don't want to go on stage and look like a tool, but I don't want to go on stage feeling completely run down and broken. I have learned a lot so far from this process, and continue to learn everyday from it. I am the hardest person on myself sometimes, as a good amount of people are. I actually feel quite rejuvenated from my actions this weekend. Not that I'm giving myself an excuse to say what happened was ok, but I know now what I need to do to avoid it in the future. Here's to a strong next few weeks.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Bada bah bah bahhh....I'm lovin' it

Although I'm hungry, this transformation is amazing. Every morning, I wake up and notice something different with my physique. It's pretty neat. We've been on the 1250 calories for almost 2 weeks now and within the first 10 days I lost just over 2 pounds. Just so people don't get false hopes, that is a unreasonable amount of weight to lose on a normal diet being so far along into the diet. However, as we are quickly approaching show time, it is expected for us to lose most of our weight in these last few weeks.

My mood resembles that of a hormonal pregnant lady, I fluctuate pretty consistently between irritation to excitement to blank stares of confusion. I'm hungry most of the time, so to ease that I workout. If I'm not busy with clients, or eating, I will be doing some kind of activity. I'm still doing at least 2, if not 3, workouts a day. Mostly to keep myself busy and mind off of food. This week I added 2 days of fasting cardio. Now, I know that with fasting cardio comes the potential for losing some muscle, but I am in the last 2 weeks of trying to lose as much body fat as possible, I'm going to take that chance. I am drinking a double dose of BCAA before/during the cardio to try and preserve whatever I can. I think I will be ok and noticed a difference in my physique since doing those workouts.

One of the other ladies and I went to a competition this past weekend to get a better idea of what a show actually looks like. It was a small competition, which we believe ours will be as well, and to be honest the girls didn't look that impressive. Actually there were a few girls who I was questioning whether they even worked out or not!!! Made us feel a little bit better about where we are in our prep. We also visited that University of Buffalos Art Center where our competition will be taking place just so we could see the stage we will be walking around on. Pleasantly enough that stage wasn't as big as I had imagined, nor was the viewing area.

I had my husband measure my body fat with a skinfold caliper the other day. This is basically the only measurement I have done, aside from weighing myself. He measured me at 17%. Now, I'm not sure how accurate that is, I'm pretty sure its close to that, but it is quite discouraging to know that within the last 10 weeks I only lost 4% body fat. From research I've done I guess that is what is normal, they say 2 weeks for every 1% body fat that needs to be lost. Apparently we needed to start our prep a few weeks earlier. I wanted to get down to 14/15%, but being realistic I will be happy to lose 1% more in the next 2 weeks and get down to 16%. Most figure competitors go between 10-12%, I can't really picture myself being that low.

I have recently been working more on the post-competition plan. I do have quite a day planned for after the second competition I am doing in Plattsburgh!!! But 24 hours is all that's allowed post-show in order to make sure you do not mess your metabolism up for months. I have been planning a reverse diet that slowly reintroduces calories and carbs, maintains a good amount of proteins and fats and have a few cheats here and there. I have also planned out 2 weeks worth of workouts. It is suggested that you slowly lower your cardio duration each week until you reach your normal off-season amount of cardio. I am looking forward to regaining some flexibility in diet, but am still trying to determine what my new norm is going to be. You can't go through 14 weeks of competition prep and return to your pre-prep lifestyle. I'm not going to have put all of this work in and lose everything I've gained. I have to establish what it is I consider normal for my physique and what parts of prep I want to continue to do. I'm not going to lie, I'm scared to finish this prep and am hoping that my will power is strong enough to actually follow my routine since I won't have any show to worry about doing. They say will power is like a muscle, the more you use it the stronger it gets. Here's to hoping.

And just an FYI, McDonalds is not in the post-competition refeed plan, Moe's is.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Day 68 of 90.....

I'm tired. And hungry. I'm seeing results.

We started the last phase of our diet this past Sunday, 1250 calories. I spent Friday and Saturday enjoying a few extra calories to mentally prepare for this part. Apparently all of those times that I thought I was "cheating" I really wasn't, there was actually a name for it. I discovered that there are things called "re-feeds" where you up your calories and carbs a bit while maintaining protein and lowering fats that you are supposed to do every so often to recharge your body. Well I didn't know that had a name, I just thought that was cheating. It seems similar to when we were carb cycling, but its not as structured as that was. A re-feed day you can actually increase your calories substantially, upwards in the 2000 range. I didn't go that high in Friday or Saturday, but lets just say I wasn't hungry those days either.

Here we are 4 days into the 21 days of the 1250 calorie diet. The main components getting me through the gaps between meals: sour patch kid gum (yep, found some!!!), liquid/powder water flavorings and coffee....lots of coffee.....thank goodness I found the Green Mountain coffee at that gas station. I've become a chain chewer. One piece of gum lasts about 30 minutes before the flavor is gone and I switch it out for a new piece. My jaw hurts.

Workouts are good. Weights are staying between the 8-15 rep range for now, completing usually 4 sets of each exercise. Sometime I do active rest periods, sometimes I take a nap between sets, depends on how large of a Green Mountain I had that day. I'm doing at least 1 cardio session a day. I'm alternating between HIIT/sprints, LSD (long, slow duration.....get your heads out of the gutter) and plyometric type circuits. I'd say at least 3 days a week I am doing double cardio. I found out that it works for me to split the cardio sessions into 2 smaller sessions. I'm fighting some plantar fasciitis pain, but as long as I stay off the arc trainer I seem to be ok. Guess I'm stuck on the stupid treadmills.

Its clear to see that if people didn't know what we were doing before, they do now. Not only are we walking around in 5 inch clear high heels, but our muscles are now quite noticeable without even having to flex. People at the gym are asking more about what we are doing. Its becoming real.

I'm trying to keep positive thoughts in my head even though I'm constantly thinking about food. My clients have been sharing with me their food experiences so that it may seem that I too have experienced it with them. One of my clients even sent me a picture of her ham and cheese Panini she had for dinner one night. It was awesome and I stared at it for a while. I've warned my husband that for the next 4 weeks I probably won't be the friendliest of beasts, but he's informed me that at least I look like a "beautiful zombie". I will get through this diet. Just keep telling myself that.

I did get my suit in the mail last week, and I did try it on and did take pictures. I'm not sharing them. Its a humbling experience when that much is revealed in a "bathing suit".

I've been putting a lot of work lately into what my plans are for when these shows are finished. I'd like to stay similar to this lifestyle just within a satisfying calorie range. I used to get headaches all the time and have wicked blood sugar fluctuations when I wasn't eating this clean. Its nice to not have headaches and to have a stable blood sugar on a regular basis. I know a lot of that has to do with the amount of sugar I was eating before. Hopefully I can stay away from it most of the time when I am on the other side of these competitions.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Worry wart and daily routine

Annndd apprehension is setting in. Not so much about the actual competition itself, I was a cheerleader for about a decade and I'm pretty confident in my ability to get on stage and whip out my "jazz" hands and milk it for the judges. No, I'm becoming more and more worrisome about the actual prep coming into the last few weeks before our show. Sure, I have done research and devised a plan based on the most common rules and tricks, but to actually know am I doing enough cardio or am I doing too much, am I eating enough calories or am I eating too much, it is such an individual based answer. It all depends on how your physique is progressing and being that I have never done this before, I'm not sure how my body is going to change with each process. This is when I wish I could afford a coach, someone to be able to know how each workout and meal should be devised to change the parts of my physique that I specifically need. I guess every person who ever competed had to go through the process of trial and error to see what worked best for them, but I just don't like the idea of putting all this work into something and have it backfire on me if I do something totally wrong.

On and up note, our suits will be arriving today!!!! Pictures will be taken this weekend, hopefully it fits. We are practicing our posing a few times a week and are developing our "model walk" that we have to perform on stage. It is a series of 6 poses that you hit at various spots on the stage. Again, I was a cheerleader for so long, I'm pretty confident in that part. Our last diet change is happening on Sunday and we will follow that for 3 weeks before we get into peak week. That is a whole other part of the prep that I am super nervous about messing up, peak week has so much contradicting literature. I think I have a plan for it, but I'm going to be doing more research.

The last 2 weeks, since we have been on this part of our diet, I have fluctuated between 138 and 135 pounds. Its so funny how such small changes, like how much sodium you eat or water you drink and how much you workout, can make such a difference on the scale each day. I'm not worried about the scale, just as I haven't this whole time, but its always fun to see how it changes. This past week I have been doing 2 cardio sessions each day along with my regular weight lifting session (sun-wed) and have seen a significant difference in the definition of some of my muscles. I have been eating a few extra calories here or there, but I have been sticking to the diet pretty well and didn't see much difference last week. This made me realize that the cardio is definitely helping me. When we make our next diet change on Sunday I think I'm going to take a step back from so much cardio and let the diet do some of the work first, then add cardio in again as needed. It is said that you should be completely ready with your physique a week prior to your competition so that you can do a week of carb depletion and loading right before the show. We'll see how far we get.

I though I'd give you all a sample of what my days look like currently and what kinds of foods we are eating.

I usually wake up around 5:30. Thank you husbands alarm clock. Drink 24 ounces of cold water with some raspberry ketones in it while I make my egg whites and veggies as my first course for breakfast. Second course at breakfast is 1/2c oats with 1/4oz walnuts, cinnamon, ground ginger and stevia. I adore breakfast. With a healthy side of black coffee I try and savor every second of breakfast. With breakfast I take my fish oils, CLA and L-carnatine. After breakfast has settled its usually cardio #1 at about 8 a.m. I make sure I drink BCAA during cardio sessions. Second breakfast at around 9: 3oz ground turkey and 4oz sweet potato with a little bit of cinnamon, I also adore this meal, it taste like thanksgiving. Then I usually have some morning clients before first lunch which is 3oz chicken with 1/2c brown rice. I put on a good squeeze of hot sauce with this meal, I love spicy stuff. And with lunch I take my vitamins. Usually by lunch time I have drank 4 blender bottles (~80oz) of water, which is about 1/2 of my daily intake. Then following lunch is weight lifting. Sometimes I take a preworkout, sometimes I don't. My preworkout has caffeine in it so it usually depends on how much coffee I had during the day and if I can tolerate any more caffeine. If my weight lifting goes any longer than an hour I start drinking my nectars protein with BCAA in it at that hour mark, trying to preserve muscle. By the time I finish weights its time for lunch 2: 3oz chicken with 2 cups zucchini/green beans with 1/4c organic salsa. Then I usually have the afternoon to do some food prep, I seem to always be cooking something. Whether we've run out of chicken or veggies I always like to have plenty of everything cooked ahead of time so I can just put together my meals as I need them. Then I usually have a few more clients in the afternoon/early evening. Dinner tends to be between 5-6p.m. and that meals is another 3oz chicken with 1cup green beans and 1/2oz slivered almonds. I put a good dollop of spicy mustard on this meal and take another serving of CLA and fish oil. Sometime during the late afternoon/early morning I fit in my second cardio, depending on how much clients are scheduled. I am usually home by 7 every night. I stop drinking water at around 7:30 when I have consumed around 1 to 1.5 gallons during the day so that I am not up all night going to the bathroom. I finish my day with a casein shake. Around 7:30/8:00 p.m. I mix one scoop of casein with 1 cup of unsweetened vanilla almond milk and some ice cubes in my blender until it is as thick as a "frosty" and eat it with a spoon. IT IS AWESOME!!! When ever you can consume something that is similar to a frosty every single night, life can't be too bad! I've said it before, I like the diet, the foods are great and I enjoy them but I do miss certain foods and think about protein bars and cereal often. However, the following are the main components that are mentally getting me through the last few weeks of diet:


 
I dream about these foods often. I look forward to sticking with my healthy lifestyle and diet routine for the long run, just with a few more cheats involved. Nachos and brownie sundae being the first of cheats.  

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Shifting into full gear

Sh*t is getting real.

-Suit is ordered
-Base tan is getting developed
-Tanning/Hair/Make up is scheduled (for both competitions)
-Hotels are booked

We had our clinic this past Saturday, which wasn't as informative as we were hoping, but we did get to work on posing. The "model" walk and quarter turns are really important to understand and perform well at because it is a large part of your score. It is something that we are working on continuously throughout the week, as often as possible. We definitely don't want to get on stage and look like a lost puppy!!! However, I feel perfectly comfortable walking in our heels at the gym and posing in the mirrors while members give us blank looks of confusion. Well if they didn't know we were training for a show before, they know now!

The clinic wasn't as informative as far as nutrition and diet in the last few weeks leading up to the competition. Now, I do have a plan all made up for diet and exercise, that I have developed based on research, for the next 36 days (Yea, that's all we have left until showtime!). I was hoping to get some reassurance as to whether or not what I had planned was sufficient. One of the main reasons I wanted to go to the clinic was to get some of that information since we don't have a coach guiding us through this. I guess I will just trust myself and trust the process.

So last time I left you I was just finishing up the last round of carb cycling, aaannnddd to be completely honest, I totally busted up the last 4 days. There was no carb cycling happening, what was experienced was more of a calorie loading. I was so mentally drained and over this process that I decided to eat a few extra things while I had the chance. The first low carb day of the last cycle was pretty true, however into days 2 and 3 I tried to stay high with protein and lower in carbs but I ate a few extra of my homemade protein bars with peanut butter on them and THEY WERE DELICIOUS. I had no guilt about this, which I'm not sure if that was a good thing or not. My last "high carb" day was damn straight a high carb day. Some of which I had was planned, like the peanut butter and jelly and protein bar, but I ended up adding 2 bowls of cereal and some chocolate. And you know what, I think that was exactly what my body needed. I didn't lose as much on the carb cycle as I had hoped (I did all my re-measurements before I went on this little binge) but after I finished that part of the diet we started the next phase and within the last 6 days I have lost about a pound and a half and feel completely rejuvenated. Not only did I lose a little bit of weight, but I can totally feel the loss of body fat, especially in my core. You know what is an awesome feeling, when you bend over, either to the side or forward, and your belly rolls don't eat each other. I am enjoying this part of our diet 100% more than that carb cycle, I'm not as irritable or negative when my body has sufficient carbs each day. If I decide to do another competition I will leave the carb cycle section out of my diet. It was definitely not worth the mental strain.

Here's the plan going into the last 5 weeks of prep:

Continue this part of the diet until next Saturday (1400 calories, 170ish grams of protein, 100is grams of carbs and 30ish grams of fat. I say "ish" because I might switch out certain vegetables at meals and they run slightly different in carbs and proteins)

Weeks 10-12 go down to 1250ish calories with about 50% coming from protein, 30% from carbs and 20% from fat.

Week pre-competition is depletion. Still working on the whole process of depletion, but essentially you lower your carbs for 4 days, then go to normal carbs on Thursday and finish with higher carbs on Friday before the show. Its suppose to give your muscles a fuller look for competition day.

Workouts are staying pretty consistent. Lifting pretty heavy for 8-12 reps, keeping intensity high with plyometrics between sets and exercises. Cardio is getting accomplished, I might have said it before, but I loathe cardio. Most of it is in the form of sprints or HIIT which is a little bit more fun, but I'm doing a few days of longer duration. The one thing getting me through the cardio: Pandora. There is something so amazing about listening to music to keep you motivated and inspired during monotonous cardio. I do have a wide variety of interests when it comes to my music choice, and some people might chuckle as I lip sing to myself on the treadmill or ellilptical. I'm sure they would chuckle a little bit more if they knew what I was listening to. Not going to lie, sometimes there is the occasional Disney showtune....it gets me through.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

The glass is half empty

Our glass is half empty. In a good way. We are officially more than half way through our competition prep, today is day 46 of 90.

Today is also the last low carb day of our 5th round of carb cycling. I have to say that the fourth cycle was much easier than the first three. It know it was helpful that my dad came to visit for the weekend so I wasn't as focused so much on food all day. The fifth cycle hasn't really existed. I ate different foods, didn't actually count my macros, just ball-parked them in my head to keep the high protein, low carb goal. I had venison sausage, protein shakes with almond milk and homemade protein bars. I'm ok with it though. I think I did ok for the most part and I actually think it did wonders for my mental state. This whole process is such a mental game, it plays tricks with your mind. My mother has always said "Its all in your head", you are in control of what you think, you just have to learn to keep the positive motors on and the negative ones off. Although I haven't really stuck to the diet this last cycle, tomorrow is our last high carb day before we move to something different and I already made out the plans so I'm going to do it anyway! Tomorrow's diet will include a peanut butter and jelly sandwich AND a chocolate protein bar. I will, however, be doing a high intensity plyometric workout and loads of burpees to make up for it, but it will totally be worth it!

As promised, I have redone some measurements and pictures now that we are basically finished with the carb cycling. The first set of pictures were taken on February 1st, the first day of our carb cycle.

 


The next set of pictures was taken today, February 19th, the last low carb day of our last round of carb cycling.


 
Not going to lie, I'm slightly disappointed. I do see some changes, and I know I'm getting there, but I still see so much more that I need to work on. We retook some of the measurements. I lost 1.5 pounds in the last 3 weeks and an inch off of my hips. All the other measurements stayed about the same. I forgot to bring my skinfold caliper home last night so we weren't able to measure body fat, I will retake that this weekend. I'm hoping to see the changes there.

I'm also hoping that the diet change, happening on Friday, will rejuvenate me. Half way through and its getting harder to hold onto this goal. I'm starting to burn out and like I said before, its a complete mental challenge. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy all my clean eating and the food that we are eating is good, but I miss baking, "clean" baking. Protein muffins, protein cookies, protein bars.....I miss variety and being able to eat what I'm in the mood for, not just what the schedule dictates. After the diet change this Friday we have one more diet change before we get to the last week prior to competition.

Saturday we have a clinic in Buffalo where they will explain to us what we need to know and do for the days leading up to and the day of the competition. I'm really excited to learn everything they have to teach us. They will explain to us a little bit more on what they expect for posing, physique, hair and makeup and overall presentation. We will be ordering our suits shortly after the clinic on Saturday since they will be giving us more information on what they expect from our suits and we want to start practicing our posing in them. Saturday also is the 6 week mark to competition #1. Six weeks to go balls-to-the-wall. Six weeks to see what I have within myself mentally, physically and emotionally.....wish us luck!

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Undesirable No. 1

I make no reference to any movies with the title of this post, but myself am becoming "Undesirable No. 1"  I was going to wait until the we were finished with our carb cycle to post again, but I wanted to give some updates. We are just finishing our 3rd of 5 cycles with this plan and there are several undesirable aspects that I have discovered.

1. High Carb day really actually sucks. You would think that after 3 days of low carbohydrate intake, the replenish of glycogen stores into your body would feel amazing. Welp, no. The rush of insulin makes for shaky sensations within the muscles and mind. Not very welcoming when you also must put your heavier lifting/workout day on high carb day.

2. The first low carb day after high carb day there is an incurable hunger that takes over, resulting in "hanger" (anger due to hunger).

3. By the 3rd low day brain function is essentially seized. The formation of complete sentences within the brain are a struggle and then to actually expel them from your mouth to make sense takes too much effort, thus speaking properly does not take place.

So why then does this make me undesirable no. 1? I cannot function properly within society during carb cycle. Withdrawal from social obligations is inevitable, it is too much work to mentally converse with people and therefore I seem to be this "undesirable" person. I try to make sure I am not coming across as this miserable person, especially to new people, but what you see is what you get until we are finished with this section of our competition prep.

I have not taken any progress pictures or done any measurements since the first day of our first carb cycle, I wanted to leave all of that for the end which will be a week from tomorrow. I have, however, checked the scale a few times. During this part of our competition prep I have lost 1.5 pounds. Again, weight has no value as a measurement to what we are trying to accomplish. We are aiming to lose body fat, but it is always nice to see something changing to stay motivated.

On another note, we have had 2 of our 3 posing classes and feel so accomplished in what we have done in the last 5.5 weeks and am looking forward to what the next 7.5 weeks has in store for us.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Just working on my fitness

Week 3 went well. Most of the time I actually enjoy the diet, or at least the benefits I noticed because of it. I feel so much "cleaner" eating this way and actually look forward to continuing this type of lifestyle after the competition is over. Obviously i'll add a few more different types of foods and more calories, but keep the same concept.

Week four has felt just as successful. It might just be in my head, but it seems like I can actually feel the fat melt off. I added a some plyometric exercises to my lifting workouts and am doing cardio 4x a week for now. I'm slowly adding volume to my workouts through either longer lifting sessions or more cardio to allow myself to continuously progress without plateauing. Diet was the same as it has been for the last 3 weeks. I added an extra dose of CLA and added L-Carnatine to my list of supplements. I've done my research and understand all of the perceived benefits from these and want to do whatever it is I can to help myself. So in total I am currently taking: Fish oils, CLA, L-Carnatine, basic vitamins/minerals, coq10 and obviously whey protein, creatine and branch chained amino acids. Between the bags of white powder (protein) and containers of pills (supplements) its like I'm running some sort of operation!!

The last two weeks I did absolutely no measurements or progress pictures. I was getting too worked up about what my numbers were and if they were not falling in line I was making myself anxious. I did weight myself every once in a while to make sure that number wasn't going up for any reason. What I determined was that I was only going to "measure" myself based on how I was feeling myself change. I decided to only take progress pictures every 2 weeks in order to see bigger changes in myself when I did take them. This might not be the suggested way to do it, but I want to enjoy this experience enough to possibly do it again in the future. I have told myself that as long as I am giving it my all with each workout and each day of dieting, then I have nothing to regret or be disappointed with at the end. I am not going to let myself think "I should of done more cardio" or "I shouldn't of eating so many calories" in regards to how the final product of my body looks on competition day. I'm using this as a learning experience and will be proud enough of myself just to get on that stage. I have no expectations to win the competition, and that's not my goal of doing it, I just want to see how much hard work and dedication I can scrap out of myself and then show it off, whatever it is that I achieve.

One big thing that I discovered from my last "prep" was that I cannot fill in my macronutrients with just any kind of foods. Before I would try and calculate my macros out so I could eat things like frozen yogurt and cereal by cutting out carbs at my other meals. I feel that this was one of the biggest things that kept me from being successful. I now know that my carbs have to come from brown rice, sweet potatoes and vegetables in order to keep my blood sugar level and avoid spikes that can cause my body to store excess fat. Same thing went for meats. I don't like chicken. Yah, I know, that's strange seeing as chicken is probably the most commonly consumed and enjoyed meat among the population, I just don't like it. So I would try and cut out my fats in other places so I could eat beef. I also now know that my fats need to come in only forms of nuts, seeds, and healthy oils. By doing this, I know that I am doing all that I can to help myself be successful.

Saturday starts day one of a three week carb cycle. This is a mini-carb cycle to keep our body's from plateauing and to try and get a few more body fat cells burnt off of our bulging muscles :) I'm looking forward to a change in diet, and to actually eat fruit again for a few days before we cut it out of the diet again. Again, this is a learning experience, and with all the research I have done in dieting for competition I have realized that most people do not allow fruit in their competition prep. I'm going to do it anyway. Most prep plans also do not allow for any kind of dairy, I'm eating a little bit of greek yogurt for my carb cycle......call me a rebel....I'm still trying to keep this enjoyable so this is what I'm going to be doing.

Saturday also starts week 1 of 3 for our posing class. The two other ladies and I will be taking a weekly one hour class on how to properly pose when it comes time for the stage. I'm really looking forward to this and hope it goes well. I have been practicing walking in the 4 inch heels that we are required to wear on stage so that I don't fall on my face. Still I think walking in those shoes will be what I am most apprehensive about on competition day, more than how my physique looks!!


Purple Metallic Two-piece Figure Competition Suit This is the suit I am leaning towards. What do ya think?

Monday, January 20, 2014

Week 1: Amazing, Week 2: Appalling, Week 3: Determined

Week 1: Amazing, Week 2: Appalling. Week 3: Determined
 
Week one of dieting I felt amazing. I could feel myself slimming down, I had lost 3 pounds. Workouts were still going strong. I had actually accomplished all of my scheduled cardio sessions and my eating was on point. Wasn't feeling deprived, just satisfied.
 
Week two I considered to be quite the opposite. I had lost no weight (which I realize is to be expected when I only have 8-10 pounds to lose in the 12 week span and had already lost 3), but I was not feeling any significant difference like I did the first week which puts you on a path of doubt and you start questioning everything you are doing. Most of the week I was so hungry I just wanted ANYTHING that wasn't chicken and rice. Friday was my breaking point. I had pushed all week being completely successful with diet and workouts although it was extremely difficult and I was annoyingly irritable. Friday I cheated, double. I was way to sore to workout, so I skipped it. Then I had run out of my prepared foods by my 4th meal so for dinner I had yogurt covered pretzels while I was food shopping at the grocery store. Not going to lie, I felt so much better afterwards. I didn't feel guilty the least bit. When I woke up Saturday, I felt as if everything was right again. I woke up early to make up the missed workout from Friday (I usually take Saturdays off, its my recovery day). All of my meals since have been on point. I came to the realization, even if it ends up setting me back a little bit, I am going to allow myself one thing every two weeks throughout this prep to keep myself from going insane. I want this to be somewhat enjoyable, not devastating.
 
Now I'm only 2 days into week three, but I am refocused and reenergized. I have decided to not get to caught up in measurements. I am still going to weigh myself once a week, to make sure I'm on track, but as far as body fat measuring and tape measurements, I'm going to let my clothes and pictures show me the difference. I was so concerned last week that I wasn't changing, and to my relief when I took my second set of progress pictures yesterday I saw the difference. Numbers didn't change, but I could see pieces of my body changing. That in itself was motivating, I highly recommend taking progress pictures when transforming your body. Pictures from last post were from January 5th, this picture was taken yesterday, January 19th. I definitely notice a difference in the definition of my shoulders and abs. Apparently I lose body fat like a melting candle, legs will be the last to go.

 
 

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Day 11 of 90

Here we are 11 days into our 90 day competition prep.

I lost 3 pounds last week and I have no idea how much percentage of body fat. The hand held machine that I have isn't the best way to measure body fat because it has too many variables that affect it. I need to find someone who knows how to do skinfold calipers (or better yet, someplace that has the hydrostatic equipment) so I can better know where I am. I feel as if I have lost body fat, certain areas of my body look more "toned".

One way that I can measure my progress, is using before and after photos. I had my husband take pictures before we started the diet last week. And this is embarrassing, but I guess I have to get used to it:

 
 
 
Don't mind the cat like eyes in the front pose, and the posing will get better. We start our posing classes the first of February. I will hopefully be doing progression pictures every few weeks to determine what area I need to work on to keep moving forward.
 
So far my biggest concern with the diet is if I start losing muscle. I worked really hard to get what I have. I'm feeling really good with the diet, just hoping it keeps working the way its supposed to. I'm surprised, and don't want to jinx it, but I am not having any cravings for "bad" foods, but I sure would like to eat a little bit more of everything. Not going to lie, the diet makes me a slightly more cranky person, but I have given fair warning to all of those that I see on a daily basis. Just not sure how to give fair warning to the greater population, they have a tendency to irritate me quite easily when my blood sugar is low!!

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Countdown to Doomsday.... Wait, I mean Countdown to Competition

T-minus 12 weeks.

Over the last few months I have figured more out. More about diet, training and competition prep. Although I was not ready for my anticipated competition back in November, I used the last two months to continue "bulking up" and building the muscle that is needed to compete as a figure athlete. Now, with 12 weeks out from our first competition, we are starting to "cut".  I am feeling more mentally prepared for this competition prep.

I say we because I have convinced two other ladies to participate in the competition with me. First one being a client who has participated in the last 2 seasons of my weight loss competition has lost at least 30 pounds and like 30 something inches along with about 10% body fat. I noticed through her transformation that she developed muscle quite well and I asked her if she ever though about competition. She was onboard right away. Second lady is the owner of the gym I train in. She builds muscle just as easily as I do, so I knew she would be a good candidate for a figure competition. She decided to take a break from marathon training to join our journey. Having two other friends enduring the same daunting task will make the process a little less lonely.

My diet is planned and macronutrients are balanced. There can be no swaying from this, nothing added, nothing subtracted. A bite of something here or there....ABSOLUTELY FREAKIN NOT!!! When trying to transform your body, every single thing you put into your body has an effect on you. You may not notice it, but things like insulin and bloating are easily disrupted by certain foods. I don't want to mess this process up, everything I eat will be preplanned and part of my macronutrients. I have planned out my diet for the next 15 weeks. I realize it may change as time passes and I will need to reevaluate my progression. But why 15 weeks of diet when the competition is only 12 weeks away? I've been reading a lot of horror stories of competitors who finish their first competition and then after weeks of restrictions they are cleared from dieting and then binge for days. They were never told of having a post competition plan to reintroduce regular, healthy eating.

Starting this week, I have started a muscle maintenance plan. Keeping my weights moderate, instead of trying to lift super heavy all the time, and doing a few more reps. I love lifting weights, I could do it all flippin day!! However, this week also starts the cardio bandwagon. I ran cross country in highschool and since then have probably ran an average of 10 miles.....a year, excluding last year when I ran a tough mudder. I HATE CARDIO!!! Not going to lie or beat around the bush, there is nothing enjoyable about it to me. I don't ever get that "runners high" and usually end up with sore joints afterwards(knees, ankles, feet). I know that once I do more of it, it will get easier and affect me less. Most of my cardio will be steady state for now, 5 days of 30-45 minutes, and then I will add in some HIIT cardio in a few weeks. I'm trying to slowly use cardio to burn fat, I don't want to do a whole lot of it at first and then burn out of my options for fat burning later on.

We are now starting to focus on competition day prep. We need to start scheduling and planning such tasks as tanning, waxing, posing practice, hair and makeup trials, and actually registering for the competition. This sport can be quite expensive. From what we have established so far registration runs $70-90, then you have to buy membership to the league ~$50, drug testing (everyone who competes is required to do a polygraph) $45, suits are between $200 all the way up to thousands of dollars, then you have hair, makeup, nails, waxing, tanning.....it adds up quick. I spoke to a male competitor and he said it cost his $6,000 to do a show!!! Well I know I won't spend that much, but I can see where things start to add up. Might have to sell some nonessential organs on the black market to fund this project!! Oh well, I'll figure it out.