Making my mind matter

Its been a few weeks since I've last updated. A couple things have happened.

1. Tough Mudder:
The running part was a lot easier, the obstacles were a bit more of a struggle. Last year I went into "beast mode" and killed the race. I was completely wrecked from it, but felt like I made the race my b*tch. This year, having been in competition prep for a few weeks prior which meant I wasn't able to fuel up as much as I did last year, I didn't actually achieve "beast mode" but still felt accomplished. I did spend the day and a half prior to race day consuming a few more carbs and calories in order to survive the race. Race day I ate what I felt would give me the most energy and avoid the most cramps. I think I achieved a good balance in that aspect.

2. Partial move to Vermont:
I started my new job at On Track in Burlington a week ago yesterday. It is an awesome gym in Burlington with lots of fun new toys to start working into my routine! I spent 8 hours last Wednesday driving to Vermont. It was mentally draining and emotionally taxing. Mentally, because of all of the competition prep I need to be focused on (food eating/prep and workouts) and trying to establish a new clientele and business in another new location. Emotionally because of all the ties I have developed in Brockport that I will soon be leaving. Its going to be difficult to detach. Also, we have not found a place to live in Vermont yet so I spent the past week mostly living out of my car. I've done it before, I can do it again, but it doesn't make it any more fun the more you do it.

3. More time in the car:
Last weekend I took my brother and husband from Vermont to Tupper Lake in the Adirondacks for a obstacle course race up the mountain. We meet my dad there, and all three of them participated in this 3.5 mile muddy race up and down the slopes. It was fun to watch, but being that I had done the tough mudder the weekend before, and had a few cuts and bruises that I was healing, I didn't think another race a week later was a good idea, so I sat it out and took pictures. Its always a highlight for me to do those kinds of adventure races and fitness challenges with family, so I was happy to be there. However, another 5 hours in the car that day just about did me in.

I started my second attempt at this 12 week journey with high hopes and spirits. This was the layout of my plan:

- Do a re-feed the day of Tough Mudder to allow for proper fuel to get through the race.

- Add fruit back in. I took it out last prep because it was what the "PRO's" usually do. But I met a girl at on of my shows who ate fruit during her whole prep. She won. Fruit was back.

- Have one or two higher calorie (1600 instead of 1400/1300/1200) days per week or every other week

I almost lost it. Several times. Prior to starting this prep, I told myself I wanted to have more of a positive mind set through the whole thing. I told everyone that I would attempt it again, but if I started losing my mind I would step down. I started strong, my mind was sharp and focused. Over the last 5 weeks, pieces of it started falling apart. This is what has truly happened:

- I over shot my re-feed for Tough Mudder by several hundred calories. I even ate ice cream. Twice.

- Fruit has literally been my savior. Many times. I have it put in my meal plans but when I was hungry and starting to wear away, I turned to fruit. I have had plenty of extra servings of berries and watermelon.

- I think the first 4 weeks I was actually more at about 1600 calories MOST days instead of a few days.

I've also had bites of things. Last prep that was off limits. No extra anything, no added servings. This time, I've had small bites of someone's meal. I've added more or different veggies to certain meals. I've gone to restaurants for meals. I even put skim milk in my coffee sometimes. And since I'm being honest; I've had an evening of decadence in chocolate, when I reached my lowest point. However, even with all of these detours, this prep has been going better physically than it did last time. Now, I did start at a lower body fat this time than I was when I started last time, which does help, but I've noticed more change in the past 3 weeks than I had in the first 7 weeks of the last prep. I have maintained a consistent definition progression most noticeable in my arms but also my abs are completely flat again already and my legs are smaller (which I was going for).

How can I argue with that?

The most noticeable change has been my weight. I started a week earlier for my last prep. I've been checking my notes and determined that after 8 weeks of prep last time I got down from 145# to 137.1#. I've been in this prep for just under 5 weeks and I've gone from 150# to 136.9#. BOOM. Last time I wasn't as concerned with the weight going down, but after looking at the pictures of me at competition, I knew I needed to slim down quite a bit more this time around.

Why I think this prep has been more successful:

-Instead of so many steady state cardio workouts I have done 2 days of sprints. I do 1 minute jog at 5.5 mph and then sprint for 30 seconds at 10 mph. Repeat for 20-30 minutes. Works like magic. The steady state cardio that I do is now basically all fasting. I'll wake up first thing in the morning, have a cup of coffee, through some BCAA in my water and do 45 minutes about twice a week. That's it for cardio. I was over training for too much of my last prep and I wanted to avoid that this time around.

- Last time I was afraid of losing too much muscle. Again, after seeing pictures from competition, I knew I had a lot more to slim down and didn't have to worry about losing muscle because I had so much of it. So instead of sticking to heavy weights all the time with minute rests, I'm doing a lot more circuit training with active rest periods, giant sets, and a little bit more volume. Last time I had every workout scheduled ahead of time. What exercise with what weight/sets/reps preplanned to a T. This time I have what muscle group or cardio I am doing each day and then depending on my mood and energy I just throw a workout together on the spot. I am much better at being successful this way.

-Added fruit back in. Again, has been a savior in replacing the sugar cravings.

- My mind has been occupied with other subjects outside of diet and exercise. Even though the move and all is a mental stressor, it is also a distraction from thinking about food all day.

So through all of this, I have decided that I want this prep to be as much a mental transformation as it is a physical one. I've said it before, and I truly do feel this way, I do enjoy this lifestyle. I want to learn how to be more present in each moment instead of getting anxious about all of the processes I have to go through in each section of each day of the week. I am the type of person, and it seems to get worse when I am in competition prep, that I will be processing in my head what I need to do to successfully accomplish something 12 steps ahead of what I am doing at the exact moment and end up tripping on what I am doing in the next 2 steps which sets me back even more. I'm always afraid to miss something or forget something that I might need later. I just need to get over it and enjoy each step, good or bad, that each day has to offer. I push my body to the limits, but I want my mind to agree and be happy with what I put myself through, otherwise it is just a drag. I know competition prep is a challenge, and you can't be successful without a significant amount of sacrifice, but it took me almost 2 months to recover from the last show, I don't want to repeat that again. I want to live this competition prep in a way that allows me to return to a more stable lifestyle more effectively and I know that it will be 90% how I mentally handle the next 7 weeks. Wish me luck!