Sunday, April 6, 2014

Knocked down but not out

I can think of 101 sob story reasons as to why my first figure competition was a bust. But none of them matter. I participated in a bodybuilding competition and that's something no one can ever take away.

To be completely honest, I basically gave up about 2 weeks prior to the show. I was overtraining and over thinking. I hit my 'crash and burn' and didn't recover enough to make the needed effort to get where I needed to be. I coasted to the finish line, which I have remember doing before in other challenges because it was easier then dealing with it. I had mentally put too much on my plate. I was trying to perfect the plan for our peak week; the diet, the workouts, the every little detail involved. I wanted to make sure the previous 12 weeks of work that we put into our prep weren't messed up with a poorly planned peak week. I wanted to make sure that the 3 of us were going to shine.

The first speed bump we hit was when we got the phone call Thursday evening at around 5 that our show had been cancelled. Wait, what do you mean the show has been cancelled. I just spent the last 13 weeks getting ready to step on stage in an itty bitty bikini and your going to cancel the event!!! Not enough people were participating they said. Well with a quick 'you suck' to them, we scurried to figure out what we were going to do. We lucked out. There was another show the same day in Rochester. Great, sign us up. Check. Ummm, what about hair and makeup. Are you kidding, what salon is really going to have an opening for the 3 of us to have hair and make up done by 9:30 on Saturday with less than 2 days notice? Welp, found one. Ok lastly we need to find someone to spray tan us. Easy, we knew a girl who could do it. Booked the appointments. By Thursday evening at 8, just 3 hours after we learned our original show had been cancelled, we were entirely set for a completely different show.  Sweet, we're ready to go.

And of course I slipped right into the path I was so aggressively trying to avoid. I didn't feel confident in the plan I had developed so I veered off path the last day and it cost me. The other ladies stuck to the plan and it worked for them in a way that didn't work for me. I woke up yesterday morning (day of the show) bloated and unconfident. From the first blink of the day I was running the schedule for the day and everything we had to do through my head; when we had to get our suits on, when we had to eat, when we had to pump up, what our routines needed to consist of. We started our day at the salon for hair and makeup. I tried to relax and enjoy the experience with these lovely ladies that have trusted me the last 13 weeks to get them to this day. They knew I was over thinking everything as we were sitting there, they figured me out within the last few months :) From the moment we finished our beautification it was a scramble to get our suits on and to the venue in time only to arrive with 5 minutes to spare for our 10 o'clock meeting which we ended up sitting around for until 11 o'clock. That was the first hit to my psyche. We had to eat at a certain time. Was the meeting going to take so long that we weren't going to have the time to eat and finish getting ready? We still had to figure out our routines. Stop thinking about it Danielle!! Nope. So we got on stage for the first part, prejudging, all suited up, canola oil spray attached, sugared up and pumped up. I felt like a mess. Still bloated and without having a mirror in front of me not 100% sure my poses were right. First part we knew how to do pretty well. It went quick so it was a little anticlimactic. 5 minutes on stage was all it took for the judges to get a good idea of who was going to be the top place finisher. Ok, with prejudging done whats one to do for 5 hours until the night show starts. This was the dumbest part of my day, waiting around with nothing to do and no idea what to expect for the evening for such a long time. This is where it was completely lost. I have no patience. Anyone who knows me knows that. I knew I didn't do well it in the first part of the day, so I kind of gave in to my emotions. I was ready to be done with the day and head home. What was the point. This wasn't what I was expecting was all I kept thinking. I don't know if I actually expected anything in particular, but what happened wasn't the excitement I had anticipated. I became cranky closer to show time. With no instruction on how the second half was going to happen, before I knew it we were walking across stage and I had no idea what I was doing. We had practiced our routines for weeks ahead of time but when our original show got cancelled we had to learn a new walk for this new show. My body was moving, but not to the motions I had in my head. I still don't remember what poses I hit, I just remember walking on stage. I don't think I was really that nervous, I just was so unconfident that I think I blacked out to try not to think about how uncomfortable I felt with the physique that I was presenting. The second half of the show went just as quick as the first and then it was more waiting around for everyone else to go before we got to awards. From start to finish our day was about 14 hours long and all I could think about was showering and getting out of that suit. And that's what I did. Show finished around 9, I had my suit off by 8:55, I couldn't even wait for everyone else to be done. Home by 9:30 to shower and scrub tanner and elmers spray glue off of random parts of my body. Feeling shot down, I was in bed by 10:30.

Some main points I learned about participating in a figure competition:
1. When in doubt, do less. I was trying the whole day to make sure we were eating enough at the right times and following a certain schedule. I learned that most girls don't do much of the eating stuff on competition day and timing didn't make too much of a difference.
2. When you spray glue your suit to your bottom so it doesn't ride up your bum when you are walking on stage, you find creative ways to use the toilet.
3. You will smell like barn. Since you are not supposed to wear deodorant with the spray tan, unless you like the green armpit look, you tend to have some body odor. Add in the spray tan smell itself and the canola oil spray so you shine on stage and its a hot mess of stench.
4. Most of the girls are nice. You always hear of other competitors being jerks and sabotaging each other. It was hardly the case. We made a couple friends and they were super nice and really helped us get through the day.
5. All the other girls are also slightly nervous. Everyone has a first time, but each time you are trying to do more, be better and achieve higher.
6. Leave modesty at the door. I had one of the girls up my bum putting glue to make sure my suit was where it needed to be. I saw other competitors having people rub them with oil in ALL places.
7. Everyone has a different approach to creating their physique. The only way to know what will work for you is trial and error.

So with all that being said, sorry Gram, I'm going to keep working at it until I figure it out.

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